Perry Como's Christmas Special: The
members of Greek family are murdered systematically in a bizarre fashion.
– Toronto Sun television page listing
Our next song will be "Angels We Have
Heard Get High."
– church bulletin listing
We now will hear Deck Your Balls with Halls
of Helly....Deck Your Bells with Balls of Holly....er....a Christmas selection.
– BBC radio announcer
A holy symbol like Frosty (the Snowman)
should not be taken away from Christmas. Well, maybe that is a bad example.
– Fox and Friends anchor Brian Kilmeade discussing "killing Christmas"
And there you can see the official state
Christmas tree on the lawn of the State House. And, right next to it, you can see the
state Christmas menorah.
– on a Boston nightly news show
8:30: I Love Christmas. A treat for
nostalgia lovers, a reminder of the golden days of Christmas when it always snowed, the
pantomime was funny and the Christmas No 1 was worth waiting for. Featuring clips from
such film classics as "The Snowman" and "Chitty Chitty Gang Bang."
– TV listing in the Sutton Coldfield Observer
For your shopping convenience, we will be
closed Christmas Day.
– sign on a Boston supermarket door
Oh Little Toe of Bethlehem how still we see
thee lie.
– in a church Christmas bulletin
Call Wieser’s for Home Made Fruit Cake:
Solid Mahogany.
– Fredericksburg (VA) Freelance-Star
Q: What would you like most for Christmas?
(asked in 1948 by a Washington radio station of different ambassadors in DC)
French Ambassador: Peace throughout the world.
Soviet Ambassador: Freedom for all people enslaved by imperialism.
British Ambassador, Sir Oliver Franks: Well, it's very kind of you to ask.
I'd quite like a box of crystallized fruit.
- If you wish hard enough, your Christmas dearms really will
come ture.
– Christmas card, China
from the 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said 
